When Anxiety Helps

These last days resulted of the decisions I’ve made, the anxiety as usual bothers me. Its resistance is so high that it even ruin my sleep habits, too. So I’ve been sleeping with the maximum range of 3-4 hours. Sometimes I can lay down myself resting for twice or three times in that range, but also often none a day.

But I realize now I’ve turned it into something important and of course useful. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all and I ended up spending time by reading some books. They gave me ideas and ways of certain problems.

And miracles happened again today. The head manager from my old job (she’s now in other department) talked with me over the phone asking me if I could cover others’ while they’re going vacation. Yay ! Now I don’t have to worry about paying all my bills.

Another one was when I was driving home. The director from my recent job also called, telling me that everyone has been missing me, from the coworkers and even their clients. When being asked what’s my plan for the next months, I started to feel that he wants me to go back working for them.

Because I’ve been ‘fully-booked’ from my old job, I told him that I have to focus for whatever I have now. He said all of them really want me to be back, plus the board will consider all my objections and complaints toward the company system they’ve created. I smiled when I heard that, it’s not like it’s a revenge, but I’m happy that I made a right decision last week.

Now I can tell, that The Guy up there watches over me.

Infatuated

I saw you wearing my shoes

and running around with your smile

that beautiful hair of yours you’re laughing with

You asked me whether you could have them

and I said no they’re mine while in my heart

I really want you to keep them

to that point I wonder

who you really are

why are you never here with me

but always appear in my dreams ?

ps : may be I should never sleep right after meals.