On Being Faithful

Ok, this is just a rant. Actually, I don’t know why I’m doing this. But I feel like I have to. As some of you know that I have been through some severe damages in my life, even the ones that I haven’t had before. There were times that I literally hit the floor, not only because I was upset, but because I felt that the floor was my highest level (hope you know what I mean).

But being faithful is not just an emotion where it would come and go in hours or days, or leave us whenever we don’t feel good. It’s not only when you hope someone calls you but after a while you’re just gone mad and decided to say ‘that’s it’. It’s not just when you said hi with your best smiles to a person and the only response you got was a door slammed right in your face. The times when we don’t see anything but a huge rock blocking our way toward the future and you know you’re not a good rock climber. There are times when we feel like our eyes are dried up and our plans were all messed up. Even worse, the times when you got kicked off of your own place, or cursed for having some love in your heart. I know friends, I know. It hurts. It’s painful. First I thought I was alone by myself, too. But I’m telling you, you are not alone. There are people before you, or with you now and will be in your shoes one day in their life who feel and experience the same thing you do.

Oh well, I don’t think I’m a good preacher at this moment. Maybe Dupree put it better “Hang on there, the mothership hears you!“

Between Confession and Crazy

A friend of mine shared his secret deed that he cheated on his wife, and now realized that he had done a big mistake. Feeling uninterested, I sarcastically told him to look for a priest so he can make a confession that might relieve his burden.

Long story short, There I was stepping into a church (building) -after God knows how long it’s been- just to accompany him making a confession sacrament in his church. I went to a catholic high school and whenever we had a service, it always gave me such calm feeling. So being there actually gave me the sort of same feeling.

What happened next was really catching me unguard. After my friend’s done with his confession, a priest who stood behind me asked me to go ahead and take my turn. What was he thinking? That everyone in a catholic church must be a Roman Catholic?

So I sat down, then took a deep breath-not knowing what to say since I had never done it before. He started talking but the only words of his that I caught was his last ones ”I’m listening, Son.”

I tried to open my mouth and finally said ”I think I’m crazy, Father.” I knew he stared at me soon I said that even though I couldn’t look at his face. Now I feel not only crazy but more like a mentally disturbed by saying that. Then he responded ”Son, people who think that they’re crazy are not crazy. Besides, being crazy is not a sin.” I could notice that he smiled while saying that.

Awed by his remark, I then told him ”I guess you’re right.”

”Anything else, Son?” He politely asked me.

”That made me thinking” I said ”If it happened that people who don’t think they’re crazy were actually crazy and the crazy ones were not really crazy, who would be crazier then, you or me?”

Now I felt that he looked at me again. Then he shortly said ”Go home, Son.”